PMO｜When We Ssk Questions Expecting 'No' As An Answer

Change is scary to many people because it usually means losing what we have and uncertainty. People tend to hold on to what they have and say no to the changes. What makes this even worse is the possession bias, meaning we worry more about loss than gain. Our intuitions tell us to say "No" to feel safe (protected) and more comfortable as part of human nature.  Because of this, we can start a conversation by asking a question, expecting an answer of "no," to catch the audience off guard during change management.

Do you think it's a bad time to talk? No. 
No can be the start of constructive collaboration. The right way to think about this is to accept their right to say no. Make them feel respected and then use labeling to dig into the reasons, such as "I seem that you have concerns about..." or "It looks like something is bothering you on ...". 

Do you want this project to fail? No. 
No means "I'm in control." Let your counterparts say "No" enforces their illusion of control. It would be best if you guided them to decide not to sell yours gently.

Have you given up on this project? No.
A 'No' response can be the key that opens the door to a fruitful discussion. It can reveal new options and opportunities, fostering a sense of optimism and openness to change.

In summary, "No" can be a positive response in certain circumstances. Let's keep an open mind to initiate the conversation.

References 

1. Start with No by Jim Camp
2. Never split the difference by Chris Voss 
3. How to Respond When Someone Takes Credit for Your Work, HBR, 2015