Summary | The Art of Asking (2014)

What is it about? The Art of Asking: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help by Amanda Palme explores why we are hesitated to ask for help and how we can change to ask for help. 

Why bother? Asking help can be effective at work or in life to build relationship.

Key Ideas  Palme tells three reasons that prevent us from asking for help.(1) the fear of being vulnerable, (2) the fear of rejection, (3) the fear of looking needy or weak.  “From what I’ve seen, it isn’t so much the act of asking that paralyzes us—it’s what lies beneath (1) the fear of being vulnerable, the fear of rejection, the fear of looking needy or weak. The fear of being seen as a burdensome member of the community instead of a productive one.” 

Palme tells that we can overcome the fears if we understand the help correctly. 

• Help is cooperation. Everyone can receive the benefits. “Asking for help with shame says: You have the power over me. Asking with condescension says: I have the power over you. But asking for help with gratitude says: We have the power to help each other.” ​
• ​Accepting help is to accept others and trust others. “Those who can ask without shame are viewing themselves in collaboration with—rather than in competition with—the world.” ​​

Favoriate Quote
“Those who can ask without shame are viewing themselves in collaboration with—rather than in competition with—the world.” ​

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References

• The Art of Asking, TED Talk, Feb 2013