When stepping out of the house, the raindrop started falling...after days of planning, the weather played against my picnic at the last minute. When managing projects or living our life, we wish to be able to control where we want to go, whom we are working with, what are the desired outcomes, how much time to take, and how much to spend. In many cases, however, life is filled with messy reality--a reality that most things could be out of control, and we must let them go. Some say this is the art of surrender.
Do we have control? It's a great question. If we ponder for a second, our power spectrum is minimal. When COVID hit the ground two years ago, everyone's life was suddenly changed. We fight agaist the horrible disease, but eventually, 60% are infected (News). Facing the forces of nature, we have no choice but adjust.
My friend Jane was comfortably lying down on the couch. I wanted to ask her if she'd like to go out shopping with me. I thought it would be more fun to go out together. "Jane, would you like to have some Boba tea?" I asked. "No, it's too hot outside. I can make us some ice tea instead. Do you like that?" she replied. "No, I'd like to go out for a walk. Have you seen the new iPhone that was just released? Maybe we could try it out?" I suggested. "No, mine works just fine," she said. "Oh, remember the ice cream museum you mentioned last week? It just opened. It might be fun to check it out," I suggested. "OK, that sounds good," she agreed.
The bottom line is that we can't force anyone to follow our path. However, we can influence others in a way that they would appreciate. We don't control the outcome, but we can influence it. We need to tailor our ideas for everyone so that they can see the value in them.
As parents, we often have a natural inclination to control our children's emotions and surroundings, which can cause us to excessively worry about their safety, health and success in life. However, this overprotective approach can create an environment of anxiety and limit our children's ability to develop resilience and independence. To strike a balance between our protective instincts and promoting our children's growth and autonomy, it's important to embrace vulnerability and practice mindful parenting.
As a leader, it's important to be flexible with our regulation of organizational processes. Once the standard has been defined, we should allow our team to learn and grow from challenges and mistakes. We need to be in control without being too controlling. We should let the power go as long as the outcome meets expectations. For instance, a project manager may have different working styles and personalities. Ellen prefers reporting project status in a spreadsheet, while Fed uses presentations, and Ken uses Wrike reports. Do we need to control the format? The answer is no. However, it's essential that the reports sync up with all stakeholders on upcoming milestones and risks. It's all about finding a balance and compromising.
Even to ourselves, we feel lazy when we know exercise benefits our health. We crave sugar when knowing glucose may rise to an alert level. Love it or hate it. Our bodies may play games with our will powers.
In reality, stopping the fighting and considering surrendering as one option can lead to better well-being and freedom.
Do we have control? It's a great question. If we ponder for a second, our power spectrum is minimal. When COVID hit the ground two years ago, everyone's life was suddenly changed. We fight agaist the horrible disease, but eventually, 60% are infected (News). Facing the forces of nature, we have no choice but adjust.
My friend Jane was comfortably lying down on the couch. I wanted to ask her if she'd like to go out shopping with me. I thought it would be more fun to go out together. "Jane, would you like to have some Boba tea?" I asked. "No, it's too hot outside. I can make us some ice tea instead. Do you like that?" she replied. "No, I'd like to go out for a walk. Have you seen the new iPhone that was just released? Maybe we could try it out?" I suggested. "No, mine works just fine," she said. "Oh, remember the ice cream museum you mentioned last week? It just opened. It might be fun to check it out," I suggested. "OK, that sounds good," she agreed.
The bottom line is that we can't force anyone to follow our path. However, we can influence others in a way that they would appreciate. We don't control the outcome, but we can influence it. We need to tailor our ideas for everyone so that they can see the value in them.
As parents, we often have a natural inclination to control our children's emotions and surroundings, which can cause us to excessively worry about their safety, health and success in life. However, this overprotective approach can create an environment of anxiety and limit our children's ability to develop resilience and independence. To strike a balance between our protective instincts and promoting our children's growth and autonomy, it's important to embrace vulnerability and practice mindful parenting.
As a leader, it's important to be flexible with our regulation of organizational processes. Once the standard has been defined, we should allow our team to learn and grow from challenges and mistakes. We need to be in control without being too controlling. We should let the power go as long as the outcome meets expectations. For instance, a project manager may have different working styles and personalities. Ellen prefers reporting project status in a spreadsheet, while Fed uses presentations, and Ken uses Wrike reports. Do we need to control the format? The answer is no. However, it's essential that the reports sync up with all stakeholders on upcoming milestones and risks. It's all about finding a balance and compromising.
Even to ourselves, we feel lazy when we know exercise benefits our health. We crave sugar when knowing glucose may rise to an alert level. Love it or hate it. Our bodies may play games with our will powers.
In reality, stopping the fighting and considering surrendering as one option can lead to better well-being and freedom.
|
Out of Our Control
The Past: What happened around The Future: The Outcome of my efforts Other's Opinions: What others think Other's Actions/Reactions |
Within Our Control
The Present: My thoughts and actions My goal and boundaries What are my core values How I handle challenges |
